Wow! I'm tired!

I spent most of Sat asleep. Funny how you crave sleep during the night, but it comes most easily during the day. Justin came home and it was so good to have his excitement and energy back in the house, but keeping my eyes open seemed impossible. I don't bother fighting sleep, I obviously need it. My day turned tough around 5:30pm with an intense wave of nausea and cold sweats. I called for James, but even though he couldn't do anything for me, I didn't want to be alone. I took my Zofran (anti-nausea) right away and the spell passed in about 20 minutes. I was then hit with painful stomach cramps, but they only lasted until 10:00pm.

I wish my appetite was better, but food is not interesting to me at all. All I want to eat is sandwiches, but I can't with only 2 bottom teeth (way at the back). I REALLY miss the Bakery in Broadview!! I wasn't given dexamethasone to take home after this round and only enough Zofran until Sun morning. I phoned the Cancer Clinic and asked why not, they said if I really need it I can have it. If I run into trouble on the weekend, just phone. Dexamethasone made me hungry and want to eat last time, I'm too tired right now to even think about food. I run tube feeds 3 times a day, this way I can eat and sleep at the same time (that sounds lazy doesn't it).

My mouth is the main concern. Tongue is very dry, like sandpaper, and my jaw feels like it is too heavy to move. There is also a horrible taste in my mouth, like hospital food has left it's imprint and long lasting flavor (yuck!). Of course, thick phlegm/saliva is always a pain, but that is something I'll likely have forever, just not as much as now. I had a friend we nick-named "Phlegmy" years ago, I think the name suits me more now. I keep sipping on water, tea, and other fluids (sadly no alcohol which would probably cure other ailments). I use a gel called "Oral Balance" for my dry tongue and Tylenol for my jaw. I remind myself to treat the symptoms and get through this. I'm really halfway done as I'm scheduled for 4 rounds. That could change and result in more chemo or radiation at the end, but we'll tackle that when it comes.

Oddly enough, my breathing is the least of my concerns. I still run out of air on movement, but I'm really comfortable at rest. I slept pretty good last night (up a few times) and was smiling at how air was going in and out. It felt effortless, like it used to. I take small victories where I can get them.

Thanks again for your interest. You all know I love to talk, especially about myself (joking). I think it's because of my "sign" Aries - we love being the center of attention. I guess cancer thought I needed to re-connect with old friends (not everything about cancer has to be negative). I really enjoy hearing from you. If anyone wants to e mail me directly with pictures of your kids or whatever, I'm at james.roxy@sasktel.net. Even if you want to know something I'm not writing about, like how the weather is terrible lately, drop me a line and I promise to answer. I love this technology and hope sharing my "journey" with you gives peace of mind that everything is going to be okay.

Love and Prayers,
Roxanne