A nurse at the Cancer Clinic set me up with home oxygen Friday afternoon. The fastest way to get it...enrolling with the Palliative Care Program. I told the nurse I was having problems with the word palliative, she said to focus on the extra services they can provide. Their goal is to keep you as independent as possible. I have a meeting with a Palliative Care Assessor Monday afternoon to see what needs I have. This was a hard step for me, but I do want to access as much service as I can. Medigas showed up with oxygen by suppertime and after a short orientation, I was hooked up. I try not to use it at rest, but when I'm walking I cannot be without it.
My mouth is healing slowly, but it's like my body is ordering in extra phlegm from foreign countries. I'm drowning in it, choking on it, and puking it up. Hope I can get a suction machine from someone. I'm tempted to hook up to the shop vac James has in the garage. It's hard to sleep when you have to sit up and hack away at phlegm. The muscles in my shoulders, back, and stomach are aching with pain, so I continue to use codeine for relief. I feel bad because I woke up the whole house this morning at 6:30 with my coughing, now we're all tired.
Justin and James went to the Pats (hockey) game Friday night with Brian (James' brother). Justin had a great time as he was allowed to holler and cheer as loud as he wanted. Thank you to Uncle Brian for the free tickets and the shirt he bought Justin. The rest of the weekend had James and Justin biking around the crescent with me sitting on the porch watching. How I desperately wanted to be out there with them, but just don't have the wind or energy. Glen (James' brother) and his son Calder (1 year old) came for a visit Sat. I enjoyed the distraction of Calder, stumbling around, searching through toys and remember Justin so well at that age. It was good to see Linda Beutler (manager Broadview Hospital) on Friday as well, thanks for the visit!
With the beautiful weather and excitement of spring I find myself more upset with my health. I just want to be out there with everyone else, having fun. I feel like I've been "benched" for the big game, and I'm not happy about it. It takes alot of talking with friends, God, and myself to get out of that rut. I really have to focus on getting better and see myself out there eventually.
2 comments:
Hi Roxanne,
Memory is getting bad. Tried to write a few notes yesterday and could not remember my password - lord love a duck - how bad can one get. Spent some time talking to your dad the other night. Your mom was at a meeting regarding the Korte reunion. Your dad had mentioned how he wished that we could go back in time when we lived in Muenster and all you kids were little. What a precious time in life - I realize now. He probably just misses all the desserts I used to make. You have had a couple of bad weeks. I hope that improves for you Roxanne. Your dad said you start chemo today. Johnny had radiation treatments and the side effects were not quite a vicious as the ones you experience. It is still quite vivid for me after almost 24 years. My prayers are with you Roxanne. I have put you at the top of my list. Your dad wants some homemade buns so I guess I will get to it - his wish is my command, ha, ha
Hi Roxanne,
Wow!!! You are one tough cookie! You have had a couple of very challenging weeks. I find that I check everyday to see how you are doing and what life is throwing at you next. You are INSPIRING!!! You show me that no matter what life throws at us, we can rise to the occation, learn and move on. Your spirit keeps on learning from all the challenges put in front of you - big and small. You are showing us all how tough our spirits are and how we can rise to the challenge and conquer it.
I know that it is very hard to sit back and have someone else help and you have to sit back and "watch" as life is happening now, but the more you "watch", the faster you will fight and get your strength back and be back being Mom, working and playing with everyone. You are in our prayers and both Jeff and I think of you daily. Take care and stay strong.
Cindy H
ps...thought this is a little funny...we have 2 boys James-6 and Justin- 4 :-)
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