Happy Family Day Weekend!

Well, we have been busy around here! I'm getting the feeling I need to post more because alot happens in a few days.

On Friday Grandpa Brule was here to entertain Justin all day, while I tried to relax. For some reason I just couldn't get comfy for a nap or even want to lay down. I did not sleep well the night before and knew my body needed the rest. It was frustrating for me, and Grandpa too who kept saying "Go rest!" and me who kept replying "I just can't." I phoned the Cancer Clinic for my lab results that day and my nurse Bev said my "counts were good" and that I really didn't need to wear a mask in public anymore. I mentioned that I couldn't rest during the day and poor sleep last night, she had Dr. Salim fax a prescription for a sleeping pill to my pharmacy "just in case I needed it". Now, I've never taken sleeping pills and wasn't too keen to start, but sometimes sleep is just more important. I tried it last night and was happy to get some rest. Friday night we ordered Chinese food because I had a craving!! I ate it so fast I almost choked. It's soooo good to be able to taste food again, even though my taste is a bit subdued. I was then surprised by a special flower delivery from my fellow RN's at the Lodge in Broadview!! A big Thank You to Kathy, Debbie, Phoebe, and Maria. What a great end to my day... Chinese Food and flowers.

On Saturday, I felt like nesting. That's right, we went through 4 boxes of knick knacks and pictures that never got accomplished after our move. I had alot of really nice stuff packed away. It was almost like Christmas, discovering old favorites. James was busy hanging pictures and shelves. I sat in the chair, looking at my decor getting up, arranging things, sitting down, staring at my "work", then getting up and re-arranging some more. I do not have "the gift" for home decor like some people, but I had fun anyway. I also organized old pictures in an album and set the frames aside for a garage sale. I don't want to know what James was doing in the basement, because he was re-arranging and threatening to have a garage sale sooner than later. He could spend hours in one room re-organizing and "tossing stuff". I should mention James and his dad spent 2 hours in the basement on Friday and tore down one wall and put up some drywall. They can't be trusted on their own.

I still need to walk very slowly or I run out of air. At least I don't get thrown into coughing fits like I was before chemo. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to walk slow? I keep picturing myself walking in the summertime with air moving through my lungs like it used to. The trick to this whole ordeal is that I feel really good (at rest), it's the mental part of wanting to do more and knowing you can't. Talk about a huge insight into what my former patients were going through. I really think that's a big hurdle for me, the mental and emotional aspects of cancer. I can see and feel myself getting better slowly, but I want to be done chemo now, and not worrying about germs now, and just be as close to normal as I can be now. Imagine that, I'm impatient!! I always told James I used up all my patience at work, it's gone when I get home. Being patient now is taking alot of journalling, visiting with friends, "re-assuring self talk" (now I sound like a psychiatrist!), and rest. It seems silly to me but somehow I'm getting through.

That brings me to today, Sunday. Are you still with me? I tend to ramble on. James went to church and then we went to Regina after. Of course, while we were away we missed a visit from Auntie Eva and her family (James' dad's sister). She called us on our cell wondering where we were. I'm sorry we missed out on a visit, but at least I got to talk with her on the phone. I ran into my nurse Bev while shopping. She was happy to see me out and re-assured me again that my bloodwork was good. I really enjoyed shopping today which I'm sure was partly because of the beautiful weather. My crazy mind still wonders when I walk past someone in a store if they are sick and I hope they don't sneeze on me. It doesn't help knowing there is a "bug" going around that I don't want right before chemo. I just remind myself that I had a cold right before my lung cancer was diagnosed and it wasn't that bad. It just means delaying chemo, which, "the impatient Roxanne" doesn't want. I noticed more hair on my hands while shampooing today so I thought I better buy some hats and something to cover my head. I also bought some sunglasses, so I felt like a spy or celebrity at the checkout who needed to hide her fame. Justin got a new Spiderman toque and gloves, he hasn't taken the gloves off yet. He looks like a little crazy man wearing gloves in the house, but he's happy. James' cousin John Ripley and his wife Shelly stopped by with their kids and treats. It was really good to see them. Now all you Brule's out there don't hate me, but Auntie Cecile (James' dad's sister) sent a box of butterhorns right out of the oven. I don't think they were out of our driveway before I had shovelled one in my mouth. By the way, Justin's gloves came off for a butterhorn, then back on. There was more baking and cookies, but I was overcome by the butterhorns...so delicious! It's all good! We are on our way to the neighbor's house tonite. Brian and Bev Lane invited us over for supper and we are looking forward to a great visit and meal. They have 2 teenage daughters who Justin really likes. We are very lucky to have such amazing, warm people in our "new town" close by. I'll let you know tomorrow how the evening went.

Thanks again for all your love, prayers, and support. Talk to you tomorrow.